As I was watching the latest episode of Biggest Loser, I was very filled with a lot of different emotions. The one team was carrying around the amount of weight they had lost in back packs and "getting up" after their trainer pushed them down.
The mind and the body have such a profound connections. I relate to these people. I have a hard time admitting that, because I have this sense that a lot of people think that's all just a bunch of baloney. But, then, I also wonder if maybe those people still have physical effects that maybe you can't see.
"90% of the game is played from the neck up" - Ted Williams. If hitting a baseball is a "head game" per one of the greatest hitters of all time, why wouldn't ANYTHING physical be? I mean, think about karate and yoga and other insanely popular movements in the fitness world.. they're totally based in "mental clarity". So what am I doing will-powering my body to do this? I'm still a 202 pound, insecure highschooler in a 140 lb body. I cant change my body (without plastic surgery), I can only change my mind. Everything in life is that way though. Jillian Michaels said "Quit telling me you can't do it when you can! When you are! If you are doing this and saying you can't what else in your life are you not doing?" on the Biggest Loser. So I'm going to start telling everyone that I weigh 130 lbs. I'm going to work out, try new things, flirt, nourish myself, and feel hot like I'm 130 lbs. I have a feeling, if my mind believes it, my body will be a lot more keen to the idea.
Last, I'm tired of being hungry. I don't know how to be a person that doesn't LOVE sweets. I dont know how to not want junk food. I know how to walk away, close my eyes, only have a bite, chew it and spit it out, and bargain my way into a treat (like if I work out twice today I can have 1 cookie". But, that doesn't make me different, that doesnt make me "healthy" that makes me "on a diet". I dont want to be "on a diet" I want to just eat and be nourished and skinny and energized. "On a diet" means somewhere around it you're "off a diet". So here it goes... "I'm just not a sweets person, I'll eat a dessert if it's something really special, but really that's the only time".
Whoa. That was painful. Now just 10 billion more times and I'll start believing it.
I'm also done with free days. Just a stupid bribe to let myself be that crumby old self. I'm not "on a diet" so I don't "need a break" from it.
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