Very Veggie Beef Barley Soup

Just in time for summer...

Ingredients:All the veggies you like. Including but not limited to:
      3 celery stalks
      about 1 - 2 cups baby carrots
      1/2-1 cup frozen green peas
      Fresh green beans- a big handful
      1/2-1 cup frozen peas
      1/2 cup chopped onion
1 lb extra lean beef, chopped to bite size
Starch: 1/2 cup pearl barley, 1/4 cup brown rice, noodles, or potatoes.
7 cups of water
7 beef bouillion cubes
1 can petite diced tomatoes, 1 can diced tomatoes
1 tblsp black pepper
2 tblsp dried oregano
2 bay leaves

Directions
Spray a little oil in a big pot and cook chopped onions until soft. Fill pot with water, pepper, bay leaves and bouillion and turn up to bring to boil. Once boiling, turn heat to about medium high to keep at a slow boil. Then add in all the harder, fresh vegetables like carrots, celery, fresh green beans, and starch du jour. Let boil about 10 minutes. Then add cans of tomatoes, oregano, and beef. Let come back to boil and stir until beef appears brown cooked. Then add soft and frozen vegetables. Simmer covered for 20 mins or so, removed bay leaves, and eat.

What a day..

Today, what a day today is.
I had taken a small break from blogging, because last time I lost weight, I did a lot of talking- this time I know I need to do a lot of listening. I have been reading and reading, Jillian Michael's 2 books, Bob Harper's book, Dr Phil's 2 books, and 2 other from less famous but equally inspirational health gurus. And I am inspired. The main points this far that I have in my head are as follows:

Are You Ready? This is the title and theme of Bob Harper's book, the first 2/3 of Dr Phil's Weight Loss Solution summarized in 3 words, and the biggest problem I never faced. Being ready isn't about having the right foods in the refridgerator or a gym membership. It's being in a place where you're ready to listen instead of talk and walk, to walk proudly with your fat body and baggy clothes into the gym, and eat what you're supposed to because you care about yourself and you want to fuel your body instead of just because some stupid book told you to.

I started a new workout class today (Farrell's) and I'm super excited. My mind was in a such a great spt, that I know I have already fixed the biggest problem I've ever had. We had to run a mile today, and I was the slowest of the group that ran the whole way. But I ran the whole way. The last time I tried to run a mile, I was 205 lbs in highschool gym class, I'd never hated myself or the world around me more. It was a sunny, blue sky Colorado day, I was wearing black mesh shorts that I actually still own and basketball camp teeshirt that was 3 years old (before I got fat and actually still played sports) that was stained on the bottom right and had a hole in the left arm pit. The track at my highschool was new, and red. And I think it was probably that moment and that feeling that I never wanted to EVER experience again, and the best way was to eat, and hide, and hate myself.

But you know what? I don't anymore. So F you, old Shannon. I ran the mile today, slowly, but the whole way. Singing songs in my head, hating that the wind NEVER stops blowing in Nebraska, and knowing that the super hot jock who finished in half the time I did was watching, and not giving a darn anyway. Last time I ran this, I was 205. I am 171 now. I was angry, now I am content. I was hdiing, I am out in the world now. And THAT, my friends, is a win.

What a great day.

I no longer feel guilty for...

being tired after work, even if I don't actually do that much. feeling lost at the gym. not being as in shape as my friends. being confused about diet plans. having no clue what I actually look like no matter how many times I look in the mirror. no matter how hard I try I still slip a bite of something delicious. not knowing how to cook. being single. gaining the weight back 3 or 4 (or 5) times. not looking like the girls on tv. having ugly clothes and no sense of style and being the most comfortable in PJs. where and who I came from. the fact that I love to eat. that I get depressed in the wintertime and too hot in the summertime. not liking to drink plain water. that if I dont get my caffeine fill, I get migraines. that I think chocolate was sent straight from heaven. that is spend more time planning my workout, than working out. that I judge nearly every single person at the gym (and mostly in a bad way). that I love the Biggest Loser. that I HATE running. that I have to work REALLY hard at losing weight, and that it is taking an entire life revolution to become happy with myself.

Crock Pot Turkey

Best spent $6.47 I can think of in a long time.

Buy packaged "Turkey Breast", the one with whole breast of the turkey, bones and skin and all, but doesn't have the legs and neck so it'll actually fit in the crock pot.

Fill bottom of crockpot with about 1" low sodium chicken broth. Season all sides of turkey with poultry seasoning and pepper. Dropped it in the water with skin side up. Cook on low for about 7 hours.

I found it to fall right off the bone, and I threw all the meat in the fridge for sandwiches. I've cooked this a few times now, and every time it cooks a redder color than oven turkey, so I was tempted to really dry it out trying to get it "done".

Guilt, Focus, Motivation, and Being Hungry

As I was watching the latest episode of Biggest Loser, I was very filled with a lot of different emotions. The one team was carrying around the amount of weight they had lost in back packs and "getting up" after their trainer pushed them down.

The mind and the body have such a profound connections. I relate to these people. I have a hard time admitting that, because I have this sense that a lot of people think that's all just a bunch of baloney. But, then, I also wonder if maybe those people still have physical effects that maybe you can't see.

"90% of the game is played from the neck up" - Ted Williams. If hitting a baseball is a "head game" per one of the greatest hitters of all time, why wouldn't ANYTHING physical be? I mean, think about karate and yoga and other insanely popular movements in the fitness world.. they're totally based in "mental clarity". So what am I doing will-powering my body to do this? I'm still a 202 pound, insecure highschooler in a 140 lb body. I cant change my body (without plastic surgery), I can only change my mind. Everything in life is that way though. Jillian Michaels said "Quit telling me you can't do it when you can! When you are! If you are doing this and saying you can't what else in your life are you not doing?" on the Biggest Loser. So I'm going to start telling everyone that I weigh 130 lbs. I'm going to work out, try new things, flirt, nourish myself, and feel hot like I'm 130 lbs. I have a feeling, if my mind believes it, my body will be a lot more keen to the idea.

Last, I'm tired of being hungry. I don't know how to be a person that doesn't LOVE sweets. I dont know how to not want junk food. I know how to walk away, close my eyes, only have a bite, chew it and spit it out, and bargain my way into a treat (like if I work out twice today I can have 1 cookie". But, that doesn't make me different, that doesnt make me "healthy" that makes me "on a diet". I dont want to be "on a diet" I want to just eat and be nourished and skinny and energized. "On a diet" means somewhere around it you're "off a diet". So here it goes... "I'm just not a sweets person, I'll eat a dessert if it's something really special, but really that's the only time".

Whoa. That was painful. Now just 10 billion more times and I'll start believing it.
I'm also done with free days. Just a stupid bribe to let myself be that crumby old self. I'm not "on a diet" so I don't "need a break" from it.

"Discover your world, then give it all your heart"

Dear Mom, Dad, Dan, Kris, Lindy, Beth, Ryan, Amy, and all the people that believed in me, supported me, and actually looked at this blog the first time around and thought anything I had to say was worth listening to. Yes, I lost a LOT of weight (nearly 40 lbs and went from size 13 to size 8). Yes, I think that I found the "ultimate" weight loss plan. But, I just don't feel the satisfaction and happiness that you're supposed to feel after such great accomplishments! I was still the same person, just existing in a smaller body, and it didn't take long before that smaller body was right back to being the "same" as well.

I have learned more about myself since July (when I stopped blogging, and gave up "dietiing", because I thought I had it all figured out) than I did before, back when I was spouting off ideas about just how easy it is and pretending to be the local expert. The truth is, I have been on a LOT of diets, and I have FAILED at a LOT of diets. So expert or not, something isn't working. I know there is a lot to what makes up a person, from basic demographics, to day to day, a LOT of  what's in the past and the people we have known,  which all comes through as health, which all comes through in dress size and body fat percentage. Which means, body fat and dress size, are only the tip of the iceberg.

Think about that crazy word. "Health". What a stupid word. It's a noun, an adjective, a verb.. it's the word that is everything! Trying to attain "health" or get "healthy" is like trying to grab steam. Lance Armstrong, only the most "healthy" man in the world, had cancer like a zillion times for hell sakes! The core of our being, the every way that we do everything, our ingrained humanity is this huge web of learning and believing, natural and learned. Our human-ness becomes our being, becomes our personality, becomes our lifestyle, becomes our habits, becomes our day to day, which dictates what/where/how/why we eat which dictates how we move and feel and think. This whole diet thing, it's not about which book is right, whether Jillian Michaels or Cara the boxer would win in a fight, if 24 Hour or Prairie Life is bigger and better, or whether P90X is harder than Insanity. That, my friends, is all just silliness. This is weight loss thing, it's BIG. REAL BIG.

I have this friend named Ghandi who once said "Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony". I was saying one thing until I got myself to do it, but I never really "thought" what I was supposed to. And I NEVER found the harmony. So this time, it's different. So this is my journey to the center of the earth. This is me using this tool, because I NEED to share and hear responses and talk to everyone that's on my side to go from big-mouthed and irritatingly "I got this all figured out"-like, to someone that is different. It is nearly IMPOSSIBLE to become a completely different person. It's why cheaters always cheat, liars always lie, shoes don't stretch, and nearly everyone gains the weight back. Because crash diets, 90 days of this, 12 weeks of that, and 10 mins of whatever, don't work.

This time, I'm not here for 12 weeks. I'm not here for 90 days. I'm not saying this is easy. But I am back and I am going to work harder than ever to change my entire person into a lot smaller person. This is OFFICIALLY, my last, first day of a new diet.

Extra-Good-Week's Recipes (Mini Lasagna Shells, Chicken and Dumplings, ...

My goal for this extra good week, was 3 new recipes. Here's the first one.

Some positive media?

I think this interviewer is an idiot, and should shut up and listen to the man. He's on to something! "The No Diet Diet""

Snacking the Right Way

- Pizza Bites- Black pepper Triscuits with a slice of Turkey Pepperoni then sprinkle with fat free mozzarella. Microwave til melted and dip in marinara.

What I'm Eating Today... (Recipes: Taquito and Lemon Fruit Dip)

Once again, started my morning off with a good ol' workout.